Don't Google On Bedrest

So in my last post, I ended on the highs and lows. I will discuss one of the lows.

Like I said, the lows really came at the beginning of the bed rest, and this one happened on the second night of my long stay in the hospital. Earlier that day, I had been admitted to the High-Risk pregnancy floor. It was the end of the day, so my husband and mom were both in the room saying good-bye.

I wanted them to both go to our house and get a good night's sleep. I really thought I would be fine. I reassured them that I would be and they left.

That's when an idle mind is a bad thing. In the back of my head, now that I had all of this time, I wanted to do some research to prepare myself of having a baby born early. So I googled. Big mistake. Huge. It was awful.

I googled something like "delivering at 32 weeks." I was not mentally or emotionally prepared for what popped up. Lists and lists from March of Dimes explaining all the health risks associated with a 32 week preemie. I couldn't handle it. I called my mom instantly.

By the time I could get the words out of what I had done, I was sobbing to my mom on the phone. All I heard was "I'm coming back."

My mom spent the night with me that night and every other night until Carson was born. My mom and Brent made a new rule - I wasn't allowed to stay by myself at night. And that was a good thing for me (probably not for them, since their sleeping arrangements weren't as comfy as mine.)

But it helped me get through the emotional roller coaster. I am not a good patient. I need reassurance and they were there for me whenever my emotions were getting the best of me.

I can't thank them enough for taking turns sleeping by me while nurses came in every three hours to give me medicine, take my blood pressure, temperature and to check Carson on the fetal monitors.

Rock stars is all I have to say. (And later today, I will have my mom's perspective on what we called "Carson's Journey.")