A (Grand)Mother's Perspective

Jennifer asked me to be a guest writer for this wonderful blog as I am the grandmother to the sweetest 34 week preemie granddaughter in the whole wide world. It is interesting, though, because when Jennifer went into premature labor, my thoughts were not so much on Carson Marie, but on my Jennifer Leigh!

I remember Brent calling me to let me know Jennifer was in the hospital. Brent calling, and not Jennifer, was my first clue that this was serious. I listened to him explain what was happening and then I asked to speak to Jennifer. I just asked her "do you want me to come out to Charlotte to be with you?" and she said, "yes", so that was all it took for the next two weeks, my focus was on Jennifer.

Brent picked me up at the airport and we went straight to the hospital. Jennifer was in relatively good spirits but a little scared. I felt she was relieved to see my face and I was definitely relieved to see hers. We are each other's biggest supporters and support and encouragement was definitely what she needed.

Since I knew the hospital staff was taking care of Jennifer, my goals were to take care of everything Jennifer wasn't able to do preparing for Carson's arrival. So I did all the mundane tasks:

• Washed all the baby clothes and bedding (and even washed Brent's clothes, hey I figured he wouldn't care. After all, we were going be house mates for the next two weeks)




• Organized the baby's closet (Brent and I had different interpretations on what Jennifer wanted, but we got it worked out and probably became closer as a result. We actually went shopping together at the hardware store!)




• Painted the baby's room (...oh, and while I was at it, painted several other rooms in the house!)




• Returned/exchanged duplicate gifts (Buy Buy Baby employees became my new best friends)




• Purchased baby things still needed (who would have thunk preemie clothes would be necessary?!?)

Brent and I took turns staying with Jennifer at the hospital. The first night I was there Jennifer was doing so well we thought she could handle staying by herself. HUGE MISTAKE! As soon as we left, Jennifer took to the Internet reading about the complications for a preemie. She called in tears. So there was no more staying alone....PERIOD.

So as Brent and I would take turns spending the night, we also exchanged the days so that he could work and I could handle all the things mentioned above. I don't think either of us really slept all that much - especially at the hospital...the pull-out coaches would never be classified as comfortable. But Jennifer and I enjoyed being together. We talked, we watched Rachel Ray (we love her linguine and sausage with cherry tomatoes and arugula recipe!), The View, Oprah, etc. I brought movies for us to watch (I can't remember which one I got stuck in the DVD player - sorry Jenn!) and best of all we laughed....and we laughed a lot!

We also worried and stressed a little, but not together. Together we worked as a team to send positive vibes to our little Carson Marie. We even decided that being born under the Gemini sign was a positive sign for her because after all, Carson's great-grandfather was a Gemini and he was the strongest person I knew! So I am not sure if I handled this experience like a typical mother, all I know is that I loved my child and I wanted to help her the best way I could - and that was to be there for her! I am sure most mothers feel the same way, am I right?